By Gina Hartley

"My heart was for some reason, beating really fast as I’d finished making dinner. Myer skipped ahead of me and sat down in front of the TV. My beautiful girl is growing up so fast it’s hard to believe she’s already 5 years old. It seemed only yesterday that she had been born. She had big blue eyes and long brown hair which seemed to part automatically in the middle. She was going through a dress stage where she wouldn’t wear anything but dresses and it was proving hard for me to keep washing them in time. As I sat on the couch and turned on the TV, she had already started eating her Spaghetti as I flicked through the TV channels. Myer likes watching children’s shows so I was making my way to the children’s channel when I paused on the NEWS. Usually I never watch the NEWS but for some reason my jumpy heart was telling me this is what I should be watching. I saw Myer protesting but one look from me and she knew she shouldn’t be arguing. She started eating again. I kept telling myself to relax and breathe but for some reason I just couldn’t. My heart was aching as I tried to think through my chores. I know I’ve locked the door, I remember to turn off the oven and the stove and everything around the house is childproofed so it’s safe. So why do I feel like this? Just as I turned my attention onto the TV as the “Breaking NEWS” segment came on. “There has been a major plane crash into the Atlantic Ocean,” The lady on the NEWS said, “No reported survivors so far and there has been a search for the last 2 hours to find any people stranded. Police are trying to find the cause of the crash--” I suddenly wondered what plane number it was and then I felt my stomach drop as an awful thought occurred in my head. “The police have now currently figured out the plane was JIL083 flying from New York to Australia.” That’s Katie’s plane…

I sat frozen there staring blankly at the TV trying to process the news that my beautiful wife. The loving mother to my daughter and my other half had not made it back home. That she was somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean; that she was….no she couldn’t of been. Not Katie, I just can’t imagine her dead. I can’t imagine her gone. Never seeing her beautiful smile again, she could light up a darkened room with her smile. I saw Myer staring up at me with wide eyes. She looked frightened. I wonder if she knows what just happened. My heart feels with sorrow as I realise she’s going to grow up without a mother. And am I really a good enough father for her? Without Katie I would be a wreck but right now I just couldn’t bring myself to move. What am I to do without my beautiful baby with me? “Daddy,” Myer said, “Is that Mummy’s plane?” I stared into Myer’s beautiful blue eyes- she has her mother’s eyes- and said, “Yes baby, it is.” I watched as Myer’s eyes burst into tears as she ran up to me and sat in my lap. I held her as we cried together until there were no more tears left. My phone had rung many times but I hadn’t been able to go and get it. I just didn’t have to energy anymore. But I had to stay strong for my beautiful little girl looking up at me with bright tear-stained eyes. Suddenly a breeze blew and the whole room went cold. The lights flickered and I felt better for no reason at all. “What was that?” Myer whispered to me. “I think it was your mother,” I whispered back, “She’s come to say goodbye.""